There is is a sense of ambition and empowerment in desiring a seemingly unattainable goal. A goal in which "normalcy," and even reason, shuns the possibility of. I regularly seem to have this problem and yet many times, I have somehow found a way around it.
When I was barely 21, despite my parents' chagrin, I flew to London by myself and bounced around Great Britain and Ireland completely by myself. Not too long after that, I randomly took up painting, (and by "took up" I mean to say I just started Crayola water coloring half-seriously), and ended up painting a picture which hangs in my parents' house. By the time I was 22 I had taught a year of 5th grade and signed a contract with a Chinese school to teach English for them the following year.
After all these instances in my life where I threw out the rule book of "normal" twenty-something life, I seem to have this growing stirring feeling inside me which tells me I can do great and impossible things. While I'd like to believe this noble notion that "all things are possible," I've somehow developed these--for lack of a better word--goals over the past few years (okay, they've kind of been brewing my entire life) that just can't quite make it into the same category as those others I actually accomplished...
If you must know, one is moving to the United Kingdom and the other is becoming Kate Middleton. Both of which involve being British. A frustrating problem I have struggled with for nearly all my life.
Since watching every documentary ever made on the Royal couple and every Wikipedia page linked to HRH The Duchess of Cambridge, I've pretty much given up on the idea of being Kate. I'll never be 5'10'' and my legs never possibly so thin, but alas, I wouldn't admire her so much if I was her, now would I? So it's probably better this way.
But about that other thing, moving myself to England... Just WHY can't this happen?? I mean, come on. It's as though every person in the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is against me. If it weren't for their stingy immigration laws, certainly the U.K. would be more apt to issue working visas for U.S. citizens in return! Hmmm...maybe I should be blaming the U.K. department of whatever-it's-called security. It's as if they're saying, "Sorry sweetheart, you left us, remember?? 4 July 1776? Ring a bell?" Grrrrrr. Not my fault! Not my fault!! I wasn't alive yet!
Ah, but can't I somehow be accepted in the United Kingdom long-term? Maybe I'll go to graduate school at Oxford... Nah, too expensive. Maybe I'll become a flight attendant and fly there so often, it'll be like I live there. ...Planes are too restricting. Ooooh, I could become an au pair! ...Ah, that stupid no visa thing again...
I know! I'll marry someone British and he'll have to take me back! (And after all, Prince Harry's still single.) ...Wait...that's not likely to happen unless I live there.
Back to square one.
*Sigh*
